I had a talk with Jeremy. For most of you, you would think 'what a nutcase!'. I guess?
I basically went somewhere quiet, got settled, and began to just talk.
Dear Jeremy,
I will be truthful, I think its a crush or just feeling a simple affection towards another. It won't last long because that significant other has ahold of another. I don't think it will phase, no i'm not "goo goo eyeing" like a young high school girl over a celebrity or a boy she has the hots for. It came and went. I just wanted to be honest with you because it isn't fair to you. You dead for these past five months and already I feel another feeling towards another. I don't know how to grieve properly, reading about it doesn't help and trying to find a person going through the same thing doesn't help either because nothing seems to "fit" where I stand. Or maybe i'm not looking hard enough. I'll keep going on doing what i'm suppose to be doing. College and returning home to our little girl, giving her the best I can afford and attend to her special needs. I dress up nicely, become an excellent role model for our daughter, and focus on my studies. Right now, I am having too much fun being single. I think how it's nice to have some sort of affection towards another human, but I already had that with you and this to me is a break. I will spend this time wisely. You will always have my heart, you know that. I don't think this crush means anything. I don't want to deal with another heartache and to be tormented. Again, I just wanted to be fair to you by telling you I have a feeling that I don't feel comfortable with but I know it will go away. I'm going with the flow, I sit back and enjoy the show.
I love you.
No comments:
Post a Comment