Monday Morning

I will take a snapshot of myself ~*
I haven't taken a new photo in years and I really wanted something powerful to capture the naked eye but as of now, i'll just have something for people to just stare at ahahahahahaha

I'm laughing right now

Because it really is not a big deal at all. I knew it was a mixed feeling and i'm not caring at all. But ranting about it helps in a few ways I just cannot explain.
I'm focusing on myself 
and my girl. I am going to do what i'm suppose to do. Feel confident and beautiful, be the best damn mother I can be towards my daughter.


Now that I got that out of my chest, I need to do my work but Math and I don't get along and neither English. I'm stuck and need to clear my head, I know i'll pull through but in the meantime I just need a break.
Playing Calvin Harris- I'm not alone on repeat for two hours straight, now to play some other tunes.

I get even

Too soon pt. 2

I had a talk with Jeremy. For most of you, you would think 'what a nutcase!'. I guess?
I basically went somewhere quiet, got settled, and began to just talk.


Dear Jeremy,
I will be truthful, I think its a crush or just feeling a simple affection towards another. It won't last long because that significant other has ahold of another. I don't think it will phase, no i'm not "goo goo eyeing" like a young high school girl over a celebrity or a boy she has the hots for. It came and went. I just wanted to be honest with you because it isn't fair to you. You dead for these past five months and already I feel another feeling towards another. I don't know how to grieve properly, reading about it doesn't help and trying to find a person going through the same thing doesn't help either because nothing seems to "fit" where I stand. Or maybe i'm not looking hard enough. I'll keep going on doing what i'm suppose to be doing. College and returning home to our little girl, giving her the best I can afford and attend to her special needs. I dress up nicely, become an excellent role model for our daughter, and focus on my studies. Right now, I am having too much fun being single. I think how it's nice to have some sort of affection towards another human, but I already had that with you and this to me is a break. I will spend this time wisely. You will always have my heart, you know that. I don't think this crush means anything. I don't want to deal with another heartache and to be tormented. Again, I just wanted to be fair to you by telling you I have a feeling that I don't feel comfortable with but I know it will go away. I'm going with the flow, I sit back and enjoy the show.


I love you.

Too soon

I have a crush.

Lana Del rey

My mood for this lovely night

Spring

First day of college wasn’t so bad. It was pretty fun actually!
Left at nine, arrived at around 9:39a.m parking was a hassle! I felt like a mouse looking for its cheese in a maze! Trying to win a parking space before all the other teenagers can get to it!
I later got lost trying to find my class (found it, thanks to a really helpful lady) and there are doors that automatically open for you, so I assumed when walking towards this door that it would open (it didn’t) so I waited there for a few seconds and these group of asians were laughing, I just smiled nervously ( in my mind i’m flipping them off) and push the door open, kinda ran to class more like a sprint, i’m fucking awkward hahahahaha and made it just in time! Only to see a certain ass who blocks my view of our teacher!
Whatever, hahahahaha but it was nice. Now for tomorrow.. have to wake up really early for English ~

For someone, that person

One day. I know i'll save up enough money to do my thigh piece. I know there's many of you out there that may rant on about how getting a tattoo you'll regret it. But that's the thing, I am very careful on what i'm about to get because if i'm wanting it, I know it's something that I won't regret it in the future. Because what i'm getting isn't to "fit" in with the crowd. This is something for me. For someone. It's not the best photo of a close up but where it is place is where i'll be having mine too.

Mood for this lovely evening

I know she doesn't sound.. all that great live.

I love it

Drugstores really have nice things once you get the hang of knowing what to buy.
What I mean is that, instead of buying the things you see in expensive stores you can get the same thing (sometimes different but yet the same) at drugstores, Big Lots, dollar tree, 99 cents stores, ect. Anywhere, you can buy little accessories to make it count, variety of items that you would find cute and your friends may even want to borrow/ love!
I bought scrunchies, hair clips, knee high socks with patterns (that I can throw on and wear boots/creepers/shoes with!) I also bought hair spray, fake eyelashes, and even undershirts I can use with tops.
I know that some items can look really cheap but I don't mean to buy the breakable things, but the items that look pretty.. snazzy!
Thrift store shopping, think of it like that. ~*

PINK PINK LAVENDER LAVENDER

I've been obsessing over pink and lavender hair for far too long and been wanting to do a little experiment on my hair for awhile, WITHOUT my family appetizing me and complaining how i'm a mother and shouldn't be having different colors in my hair, i'm suppose to be a role model, i'm no longer a teeny bopper. Well, I do agree with them to a degree but as of now, she is a baby who drools, poops, sleeps, and eats + attention for that fun and loving care <3
I personally, just want to have my fun for the meantime, and I do not take my hair for granted! It's been through so much bleaching and dying for years, and as of now I just want to go for the ombre look. I have planned for dark blonde with pink bangs. BUT I soon lean towards on wanting pink hair, and later now i'm wanting lavender hair. Which I've had before and MANY people loved it on me!


I'm so indecisive!

Hello!

I know my blog is not all jazz up, i'm a noob at the moment, so have patience with me!
I'm really trying to set up my own projects here on this site, gain some followers to share ideas with, conversant, and maybe make new friends!


I'm working on saving money to buy a nice camera (*Cannon -fingerscross- ) to take photos of outfits I throw in all together, where to buy them, and creating my own to possibly sell them if anyone is interested!
I also will be creating videos on my piano skills ~*~* and maybe have a partner out of the states, to Skype and play along with me ;D
I'll try to have some time to get everything started. Till then, tootles ~*

How the fuck do girls get shit bought from people who they don't even know, mailed to them, especially on tumblr. Doesn't make sense!


Oh wait, you have to be admire and tumblr famous.

He Is We

Sleepy

I wonder if you’ve experienced death, would you be able to see or feel the energy of the deceased? I know this question sounds irrelevant, it just so happens to be fiddling with my mind. I couldn’t ignore not asking and find results/different opinions about this. Everyone’s ideas are interesting to hear / read what they have to say. I like the different perspectives on what others have to say.

Why am I letting this bother me?

The “friends” I use to have in my past bitch about how they had ‘no one beside them’ during their high school years. I can’t believe myself right now to even LET IT bother me this much. Now I place it in a ‘box’ and let my stupidity leave my head/feelings.


Now that I think of it, I am a fucking good friend. I did so much for others and I even put THEM before me. Use to be treated like shit and my life drag through the mud, now I stand up for myself and speak my mind without any hesitation. 

Gadgets

Technology, why do you hate me so?!

Accomplish!

YES! Going back to college without the hassles of registering. You know, it’s not that bad having a family member that’s a teacher, professor, and/or a school counselor.
I’m excited to learn and have my knowledge expand.

And also a treat for moi, since i’m back in my father is taking me out shopping for clothes, shoes, and get my weave done ~

I feel so spoil. And I fucking love it. 

I could go far if I push harder

She's my inspiration. I am taking French and Spanish classes. I’ll be learning how to play piano, my favorite instrument!
I want to be able to play as excellent as Victor Borge. He's my inspiration as well,  and even my idol.
He was known as The Clown Prince of Denmark to many and I would love to put some comedy into music and be known as someone. I know I won’t be as funny as he was, but I think I have some humor. Huhuhu~

To a new and improve, moi

For my first tattoo (which will be next month) i’ll be having my daughter’s name on the front of my legs. Been wanting it done since I was pregnant with her and have been slowly saving up. I’m hopeful that I have enough money to get it professionally done and happy to know that Taylor Jae will be by my side, holding my hand, while I cry like a baby. Cheers! To this NY, my 2012 seems to be going well.

90's

I WISH VELVET CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES WOULD HAVE STAYED IN THE 90S.

Much needed

My daughter and I can’t sleep. (We didn’t even bother watching the Metor Showers after excitedly bragging about it to everyone.) We’re both cranky from the lack of sleep. And the damn birds are singing. Fuck.

Oh, poo

Literally. The toilet is my sactuaray. Don’t care how gross you all feel about it, especially when i’m talking about it.

Don’t be a hypocrite. We’ve all taken our laptops/phones/technology everywhere we go, even the bathroom.

Flip

I started a new account because the one I was using there were just too many.. rude and hurtful comments.
I know running away from my problems won’t do any good, but that’s what I normally do. I run away as if to expect a different result, feeling like I have a new “life” to start over. Basically flip the page.

So here I am.